11/24/2009 0 Comments My Bread & Fish“Then Jesus lifted up His eyes, and seeing a great multitude coming toward Him, He said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread, that these may eat?”…Philip answered Him, “Two hundred denarii worth of bread is not sufficient for them, that every one of them may have a little.” One of His disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, said to Him, “There is a lad here who has five barley loaves and two small fish, but what are they among so many?”… “And Jesus took the loaves, and when He had given thanks He distributed to those sitting down; and likewise of the fish, as much as they wanted.” John 6:5, 7-9, 11 Even though this is a familiar story to me, it came out of nowhere to hit me in the gut last week. I became very aware of Philip and Andrew’s different approaches to their dilemma. Philip was realistic in what it would take to feed the crowd- money they didn’t have. Andrew brought forth what they did have. Granted, it wasn’t enough to feed a crowd. He knew it wasn’t theanswer but he acknowledged what he had in his hand. I asked the Lord, “What do I have in my hand that I don’t even realize? Am I looking at what I can’t do or am I looking at the little that you’ve entrusted to me?”
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11/3/2009 0 Comments I Count it All LossI vividly remember years ago coming across the verse that shouted to me because it described my desire so accurately, “Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith.” Philippians 3:8, 9. I immediately committed it to memory because it resonated so deeply with who I am. It reminded me of the summer I turned 14. My closest friends were changing and I had tough choices to make. I knew if I attempted to go along with the crowd for the sake of clinging to these friendships, it would ultimately lead to compromise. I had hoped that I could choose to follow Christ and still go with the flow but the fork in the road was too distinct. I experienced the ultimate embarrassment of eating lunch alone as a freshman. I felt abandoned, angry, and exhausted at the inward battle going on. Yet it was at that age of 14 that I realized if God is who He says He is; I’d have to sacrifice my own comfort to be who He was calling me to be. 10/16/2009 0 Comments Another Moses butt kickingI have been humbled this past week...again through the story of Moses. I was in the shower (this is where the majority of my good thoughts come from, which is part of why I take insanely long showers). I was having an honest conversation with the Lord about adoption & some of the other ventures going on in our life right now. I was feeling discouraged because some of these things are not coming as easily and naturally as I had hoped. I asked the Lord specifically about our adoption journey. "Lord, I'm getting frustrated! All this raising money, waiting, fumbling our way through... is this really what you want? If it is I'm willing push ahead but I don't want to forge a way that you haven't designed."
I was reminded of God coming to Moses and telling him "Come now, therefore and I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring My people, the children of Israel out of Egypt." After initial reluctance, Moses went to Pharaoh. And man, it was not easy! He knew God had hardened Pharaoh's heart and that God was going to be showing signs and wonders, but this hard? And this scary? Lives hung in balance, plagues, bloody water, and rebellion saturated Egypt. Eesh. Really God? That's your plan? If I were in Moses' position I would make the assumption, "If I'm willing to obey God things will come together quickly and smoothly." In my life experience God has been very gracious to bless me when I obey. I have seen it countless times in my own little family and in my parent's lives. We honor God and he gives some fantastic provisions in fun and surprising ways: groceries dropped off on the counter, the gift of a car (and that's happened more than once!), ministries funded, children born, and I've even watched children adopted into my family quickly and miraculously. As I ran up our hot water bill in the shower I realized that because I've seen God work quickly in big ways, I've drawn wrong conclusions about the way God "always" operates in my life. God did free the Israelites. He did get them to the Promised Land. He did use Moses and Moses did obey. But the goal wasn't only to get from point A to point B! God had a purpose bigger than milk and honey. He had to establish the Israelites as His people. He had to reveal Himself, His character, His authority to these people. They had been slaves and assimilated into a culture that was not their own. Now God had to set them apart. He gave them the Law, He gave them passion, goal, understanding of who they served. Egypt is embarrassingly close to the Promised Land. There is no way that journey had to take 40 years. Yet it did. Because the goal wasn't merely to get from point A to point B. Here I sit...convicted, humbled, and still encouraged. I don't want to hear Pharoah's "no" and immediately assume "Oops, must not be from God. Oops, I must have heard wrong" or even "I did my part. I'm out of here." My attitude keeps me detached to some extent. It prevents me from really investing and putting myself out there. It keeps me from working really hard at what God's placed in front of me. That's not who I want to be! I want to push ahead when God's called me to something. I want to persist regardless of how it feels or what others think. When I reach the Red Sea, instead of freaking out and questioning the process like the Israelites did, I want to respond as Moses did; "Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today...The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace." Exodus 14:13a, 14. This resonates with Sean and me on many levels. It's made him rethink his upward climb in a new ministry & new church. It's made me excited to work hard this week for a Fall Kid Sale we are doing at North County CTK to raise money for our adoption. Tomorrow we get to sell some donated items and though I know it's not enough items to raise the money we need, I know I can say "Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today...The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace." Right before we moved to Mount Vernon this past summer I had an incredible weekend with Jasmine & Sommer. Amidst pots of coffee, strawberries and trail mix, we talked about Moses. We talked about how depressing the end of Moses’ life was. Moses was obedient to God and it resulted in 40 yrs wandering the desert with a group of hard hearted, draining, complaining people trailing after. He pressed on, believing that the Promised Land would be worth the heartache. Then under the pressure & frustration, Moses cracked and had an incident of disobedience. As a consequence, God didn’t allow Moses to enter the Promised Land. Ouch! Then when Moses goes up to Mount Nebo to die, God lets him look at the Promised Land. God tells him that when the Israelites get fat and happy they’ll turn their backs on everything that God (through Moses) taught them & will cause curses to come on themselves. If it were me I would think, “All this? For nothing?!” I struggled with this after spending a year studying the life of Moses. I thought, “He could have stayed in Egypt & lived a life of wealth, comfort, royalty.” For that matter, he could have stayed in Midian where he was a shepherd, mentored by his father-in-law, resting. Instead, he chose to follow God and it was a brutal ride with what to me looked like a sad ending. My human sympathies were left feeling a little sour. Then the Lord began showing me Moses’ life differently. I read that he was the most “humble man to walk the earth”. I read about him seeing the glory of God. He constantly poured his heart out to a God who audibly answered! He experienced severe valleys: plagues, hunger, bitter companions. He understood fear: can you fathom coming out of a valley leading millions of people only to realize you are trapped by the Red Sea & Egyptians? Oh, but Moses also saw unbelievable miracles. He led millions of people! He received the law- the first written word from God. He understood things about God that no one knew before because God chose him to reveal his character through him. Seas parted, water flowed from rocks, food fell from the sky, and armies were defeated. |
Shilo TaylorJust throwing myself out there a bit... Follow MeArchives
February 2020
CategoriesAll Foster/Adoption God's Faithfulness Kids Ministry Random Topics In My Head Random Topics In My Head |